日本之美

不知怎麼時候愛上日本的美。也沒有分析過為甚麼日本的風景，氣質就是特別的美。

理解日本的美之前，先理解「美」與「漂亮」的分別。次貨獨男，電車男，多失青年等等喜歡的少女model，「gay樣」舞男楽隊之流可以含概於漂亮的集合（set）裡面。美是不同層次的東西，是高層次的（一般虛無電車男，失落青中老年的愚笨腦袋是接受不了物事是有高低，善惡，美醜等等之分的。如果物事沒好壞之分，世界就變得虛無（最重要是如果物事有客觀性，他們必定是屬於低級的一群，他們沒有「九一妙心」又接受不了）。這與岐視無關。愚笨腦永不明白。）

漂亮是外表的，有官能的快感，但沒有内在的價值的。漂亮是有時限的。但美不同。古希臘更認為美是客觀的。中國有講美，但不多談，也沒有美學的系統。中國亦沒有定義上的藝術，「六藝」祇是某些活動（禮，樂，射，御，書，數），但是中國從來沒有獨立美學藝術的系統。

西方有「美學」的學科。美學（Aesthetics）一詞是白嘉登（Alexander Baumgarten）創造出來的。美學一詞源自希臘文aisthanomai, 即由觀感的接受（perception by the senses）的意思。最早說美的是希臘哲學家。比方說，畢達哥拉斯學派。他們是搞音樂的。畢氏學派認為「數的和諧」就是美。一個例子就是黃金比率1:1.618。米羅的維納斯像 (Venice de Milo)，就是按黃金比例造出來的。所以希臘的美學認為美是客觀的。

德國大哲康德（Immanuel Kant）的美學觀比較有系統性，也深具合理性。康德是第一個把理性主義和經驗主義合一得哲學家。他認為美不是完全主觀的，但也不是如希臘哲學家所說是完全客觀的。這個不容易說明。另文再談。

日本風景，同是有山有水，藍天白雲。就是特別的美。日本的美在於她的雅與寂。一座禪寺孤獨地立於深綠的山中。絲絲的煙霞，淡淡的天色，這就是雅。一幅圖畫彷彿時間停頓了，也不需多餘的潤飾，本身已是不說的說（寂）。她是自足，不變，恆常的，超脫的。我就是沉醉在這不可方物的美景之中，不能自拔。這美學觀在她正統的藝術媒體中也不時表露出來。如果你看過NHK的紀錄片如日本風景的美和世界文化遺產等等，可知一二。紀錄片中的淡然的解說。美得驚心得圖像。沒有太多的枝葉就是雅與寂的典範。正是由於她已是恆常，寂靜，她的美已經在巔峰，因此再無可進。所以她不像西方美學的進取。

聽了梁光耀博士談美以後（何謂「美」？），我多明白了日本的美。梁博士認為日本的美是解脫之後的美（finalised beauty）。最終極的美。它是自足的。沉醉的。梁博士說由於日本的美已是解脫之後的美，是終極的，所以已不可以自我提升的。筆者很早前曾說過，當你再最高峰上，每向前一走步就是向下走一步 (When you are on the zenith, every step forward is a step downward)。我想就是這個意思。

梁博士說他四年内去了日本十五次。比筆者更多。日本的美是果真是沉醉的。

慢味人生

很久前梁雁翎和蔡濟文有首歌這樣唱：「輕輕地牽我的手，眼裡有滿滿的温柔。暖暖的感覺， 默默地交流，不要太快許下承諾。慢慢地陪着你走，慢慢的知道結果。每一天愛我更多，直到天長地久。」香港人覺得這首歌太「老土」。但筆者認為，不學無術，唯利是圖的人沒有判斷「美」的「資格」。

不要太快許下承諾......慢慢的知道結果，的確很「雅」。這裡的人不會有心情「不要太快許下承諾」，不能忍受「慢慢的知道結果」。因為他們要一夜情。喜歡每次見面說「有空約你喝（飲）茶」。他們要兒子趕快考一個鋼琴八級試，皆因B座的李太的兒子一早已經考了八級。就是自己的蠢兒子彈得狗屁不通，五音不全，都義無反顧，要買一座Yamaha的U1放在家中（庸父母不知道世上還有Blüthner ，Bechstein 和 Steinway等德國名琴），一定堅持兒子每天製造嘈音，破壞環境。

筆者喜歡慢味。現流行甚麼草食男，不愛吃肉，擸食（結識女子）。如按此說法（定義），筆者也算曾「草食」多年。為甚麼「草食」？我想我跟現今的「次貨草食男」不同。可以打個比喩說，筆者愛牛，愛吃但不多吃。我尤愛和牛 － 近江，但馬，仙台，山形，德島，宮崎，松板 － 我都愛不釋手。筆者「草食」的年代，市場上是有很多「牛肉」供應的，但多是五豐行的「大陸牛」貨式。看看「價錢牌」，哈，山形牛的「價錢」。你會用山形牛的價錢來買五豐大陸牛嗎？很多人會，但我不買。不是價錢貴，而是五豐牛跟本不好吃，不可口，食之不得下咽。筆者唯有慢慢等待真正山形牛出現吧。一等十年。

結婚兩週年到8 1/2 Otto e Mezzo Bombana 慶祝。8 1/2是麗嘉酒店Toscana的主廚Umberto Bombana自己做老闆的新店。Umberto本人在場，他跟我們說，主菜但馬牛腩要慢煮36小時。急不來的。到 8 1/2，當然要慢慢欣賞。美食要慢味。美好的人生也可以慢味。美食之所以是美，是因為「美好」的食物中有味覺的複雜性，食物在舌頭上多一點時間，可讓更多的韻味釋放出來。美好的愛情(人生的一個部份)都是一樣，用多點時間交流，不要太快承諾，慢慢享受愛情的味道。愛情的味道有感性的複雜性。

與其急着吃五豐牛，不如多待一下，慢慢地吃山形牛。筆者愛Slow Food Movement，也愛Slow Love Movement。

Paul Mauriat's Toccata

好的東西，莫讓它停下來。Paul Mauriat 的 Love in Blue 你一定聽過，Bach 的 Toccata & Fugue 當然是經典。 但Paul Mauriat 的 Toccata （托卡塔）也許你沒聽過。

優雅的時代，連每一個琴鍵，每一個音符都優雅動人。

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=pfkIWnThTB4&feature=related

Monocle Seasonal Shop Hong Kong

For those who treasure the Better Things in Life:

Monocle, a global briefing magazine founded by legendary journalist Tyler Brûlé, is teaming up with Lane Crawford to create a seasonal shop. Situated within Lane Crawford's Pacific Place home store at 88 Queensway, Admiralty, Hong Kong, the shop will open on 15 April (today) for five weeks. The Monocle team is now Hong Kong to celebrate the first Asian home for the Monocle Shop.

This evening I attended the cocktail party at Lane Crawford and am more than happy to recommend you all go and take a look at the premium products Monocle offers and, of course, have some careful (and delightful) reads to the magazine itself.

Some background about Tyler Brûlé - Born in Winnipeg, Canada, in 1968 (* a bit younger than myself I guess), a BBC-trained journalist who, after being shot by a sniper while covering the Afghanistan war in March 1994, practically lost the use of his left hand (that's where 'legendary' sets in!). Thereafter he left journalism and launched Wallpaper* magazine which was one of the most influential launches of the 1990's (again, legendary) and was subsequently sold to Time Warner. He launched Monocle magazine in 2007 covering Affairs, Business, Culture, Design and Edits (miscellaneous good stuffs - using their own words, 'all you need in life').

想讀一本書：被罵的幸福

信報2010年4月13日

張惠菁

挨罵的才能

有個和尚寫了一本教人挨罵的書。這個人是日本高幡不動尊金剛寺的川澄祐勝。說到出 家、在寺廟 中生活，一般人會以為日子該過得很清靜吧。看了這本《被罵的幸福》，這不動尊金剛寺還真不安靜啊。不但事情多，罵人的聲音好像也不絕於耳的樣子。川澄和尚 在寺裏是擔任總務之職，也就是說要負責寺內各種活動的場地和用具布置等等。負責這些吃力不討好的雜事，自然不免挨罵。在被罵三十年後，川澄和尚最終當上了 住持。追究起這從小和尚到大住持的過程，他把「挨罵」當作他個人修行路上最大的助益，也是他的師父秋山教導他的方法。

當中有一段「事情做 好 了也會被罵」的經歷，我讀了頗有同感。川澄和尚在廟裏做事並不是只因為事情沒做好而挨罵。從書裏看來他還算是個挺會做事的人，所以才被指派負責總務。不過 有時辛苦把事情做好了，還是挨罵，而且是在眾人面前毫不容情、冷冷地罵。當時川澄四十歲，已經不是小和尚了，在寺內進行防火演習前鉅細靡遺地做好了準備， 沒想到還是遭到他的師父冷眼對待。川澄和尚像參話頭般檢討事情前後，得到這樣的結論：「我反省自己在準備時的心情，確實有點自命不凡，『這間寺廟大小事都 逃不過我的眼睛。接下來只要這麼做就行了。』或是『希望別人認為我是個機靈的人』的心眼，都被師父看穿了。師父斥責的是連我自己都沒注意到的傲慢心，他的 法眼令我五體投地。」

秋山師父說：「有時候覺得會搔頭說『聽不懂』的人比較可愛。」一直自認很能幹、聰明、努力的人，被這樣說應該不會太 開 心吧。我最近就常覺得自己缺乏「被罵的才能」。被罵了，低頭認錯之外，不會讓氣氛停留在被罵的僵局，讓罵的人發洩而事情又可以進展，也是一種才能。從小用 「把事情做好就不會（也不該）被處罰」來規避打罵的我，不知不覺會認為「沒被處罰是因為自己事情都做好了」。這種想法在順境中還好，卻不能處理逆境，與人 生中不可避免的被誤解、被厭惡、被打擊的時刻。

點金成鑽 性格弄人

<音樂人生KJ>的故事, 令我想起羅馬尼亞指揮大師柴利比達克(Sergiu Celibidache)的人生。

週末再讀劉偉霖先生(信報2005年11月7日)寫有關指揮大師柴氏的一篇短文。文成於柏愛林愛樂(Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra)訪港之前。拉圖爵士(Sir Simon Rattle)指揮柏林愛樂演繹「貝三」<英雄> (Beethoven Symphony No. 3 Eroica)。 聽了拉圖指揮柏林愛樂, 終究明白劉君所言。

劉君言道, 1945年後, 柏林愛樂總指揮福特萬格勒(Furtwrängler)因戰時與納粹為伍, 被盟軍禁「指」(揮)。身家清白的Leo Borchard被委以重任, 但他不幸被一美軍槍殺。無指揮職業樂團經驗的柴氏接掌帥印。柴氏是福氏的得意弟子, 但他少年得志, 吹毛求疵, 脾氣暴燥, 惹來樂師反感。福氏死後, 總指揮落在二人的死對頭卡拉揚(Herbert von Karajan)手上。此後三十年, 柴氏只在二三流樂團指揮, 無緣一流樂團。

1989年, 卡拉揚去世。柴氏終可「重見天日」。1992年德國總統魏茨澤克親邀柴氏重返柏林, 在一慈善演奏會擔住指揮, 為柴氏家鄉兒童籌款。據說這場演奏會為柴氏及柏林愛樂的顛峰之作。曲目是布魯克拿第七交響曲(Bruckner Symphony No. 7)。在柴氏手上, 「布七」慢無可慢, 不計鼓掌及樂章之間的停頓, 足有八十七分鐘!

我所聽由拉圖指揮的「貝三」, 都是慢得不得了。在拉圖捧下, 那緩緩的音樂卻令人熱血沸騰。我在音樂廳中真的聽得汗流浹背。亦是我人生首次感受貝三「慢」的「威力」(之後Pollini的全蕭邦獨奏也有這份令人汗流浹背力量)。

柴氏「點金成鑽」把一流的柏林愛樂推上顛峰, 可惜性格所累, 白白浪費了上佳的指揮才華。

很想一聽(睹)柴氏的布七, 遍尋不獲。終於Vimeo有1992年那場音樂會布七的第二樂章。剛巧正是慢板(Adagio)。就來欣賞柴氏的「慢無可慢」吧 - Sehr feierlich und sehr langsam (very solemn and very slow)!

http://vimeo.com/2071194

尼釆的生命哲學

德國大哲尼采在他的<<歡愉的智慧>> (The Gay Science) 裡有這樣的陳述: 如果有一天晚上魔鬼在你最空虛最寂寞的時候偷進了來, 並向你說: 「你現在的生命, 走過的歷程, 將要再完全一模一樣的再生活一次, 及不止一次而是千千萬萬次, 數之不盡次。每一次活著都了無新意, 每一天的喜怒哀樂, 事無大小, 先後次序, 經歷都跟前生一模一樣。包括那蜘蛛, 樹梢上的月光, 與及我今晚來到你身邊向你說這番話。你就像永恆的沙漏時計袒一粒小沙。」聽完這樣的說話, 你會咬牙切齒咒罵那魔鬼? 或許在那一刻你向魔鬼說: 「啊! 你就是上帝! 你的說話是我人生聽過最動聽的說話!」

這就是「永恆回歸」(Eternal Recurrence), 他的生命哲學重要的一章。

尼采認為只有弱者才把生命的不定、變幻、無助寄托於來生。強者是要英雄地面對現世, 在一個變幻無定, 禍福難料的今世, 人只能勇敢活下去。弱者建構來生, 造了天主上帝, 並把頭躲進那美好的來生虛幻的福樂中。人類這樣就只有懦弱的, 庸俗的愚人。

但尼采也得承認, 沒有天主的世界, 人類無所依賴, 墮入虛幻的深淵中。所以他要人類進化: 「我教予你超人(Übermensch), 因人類是要被超越的東西。」人要成為超人, 站在道德善惡之上, 以強者的姿態判斷善惡。在一個了無意義的世界中, 賜予意義。

尼采生前對基督教狠狠批判, 只因他應為建制裡的基督教會道貌岸然, 完全違背了基督精神。他在晚年著作<<反基督者>>(The Anti-Christ)裡說: 「古往今來, 只有一個基督徒, 但他已經在十字架上給釘死了.....從此, 福音就變成了惡耗了。

Hand in Hand

1988年，南韓隨漢城奧運會的成功步進先進國的行列 －－從此亞洲就有兩個先進國家。我是看過漢城奧運的。現在人們都忘記了漢城奧運會。但他們都很驚訝北京奧運的開幕怎樣怎樣厲害。成為先進國度，不是單靠硬件的。人的素質是一重要因素。然後是國家的理念。為怎麼南韓可以擠身先進國家？她的奧運會不是要讓世人看看自己有多少年的文化包袱，也不是提醒其他人她多年前發明了怎麼怎麼；而是她已有現代先進的元素，而本身的傳統也跟時代進步起來了。她要世人看的是南韓已經不是一個軍權國家。她的三星電子已準備超越日本的松下，新力。南韓製造的船要比日本造更多更大。她有自己儒家的傳統，但她隨西方的人文精神建構新的面貌。聽聽漢城奧運的主題歌，由Koreana主唱的 Hand in Hand 的副歌部份；

Hand in hand we stand
All across the land
We can make this world a better place in which to live
Hand in hand we can
Start to understand
Breaking down the walls that come between us for all time
Arirang!

歌裡面有沒有文明的種子，人文的精神，聽聽唱歌的人，作歌詞者的心力，可窺一二。歌由Koreana唱出來，有一份「海內存知己，天崖若比鄰」的豪情。我想大家會明白，一個國家是否先進，不是因為那國家操兵夠齊，建築物夠大就可以的。能有這樣出色的音樂，這樣出色的奧運會。南韓成為亞洲第二個先進國，應是實至明歸。

看看Hand in Hand 的 video 吧：

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tc2hWJ2EjQs

RIP: Raymond Yip

Raymond, we shall pray for you. May you rest in peace.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=198114395253

9 hours

Laforet Tokyo

This is an old entry of my log on 21 July 2008.

One day in 2002, I was on my way back to the city where I stay, stopping over in Tokyo. I took the Airport Limousine to Shinagawa Prince, and on the way, the bus stopped by Laforet in Shinagawa, before stopping at the Prince. I had been to Japan for so many times that I thought I should get used to the scenary of this country and should not have profound feeling when encountering something new. I had this thought many times but each time I was proven to be wrong. Every time I met with something of my taste in Japan, be it a new thing or a familiar experience, I had that refreshing feeling. Laforet, again, gave me the refreshment I longed for. Probably I was awaken after a brief nap which I always did whenever I sat inside a limousine bus to downtown Tokyo. I saw a couple of bellboys, welders and disciplined, picking up luggages for their clients at Laforet. What a beautiful moment! The yellowish light at the entrance that appeared to glow exceptionally bright, accompanied by the darkening sky with the fiery purplish hue, presented the best picture of the working bellboys. I was not sure what this hotel was, but not long after this moment, my memory put this picture away. All I had perhaps was a faint memory of the word Laforet. Time flies, and 6 years later, I again planned my trip to Japan of this year. I haven't gone to Japan this year because of the honeymoon for which I chose France. The autumnal temperament made a sojourn to Japan inevitable and irresistible. Except one in the early 1990s in which I was a college student, my trips to Japan were never budget ones. I am never thrifty when coming to enjoying the best of Japan. I am not particularly financially better off, but I think that whenever affordable, I should enable my heart and soul to be touched by the essence of Japan without disturbance. One way to achieve this is to make peace of mind a first place. I do not need to worry about transportation, accommodation, food, books and sightseeing arrangements. So I would choose the best that I can afford. One day when I was browsing on the Net for hotel information, the picture of the Laforet bellboys at dusk was suddenly retrieved from the archives and it gave me the comforting moment as strong and alive as when in 2002 I actually saw them. The actual substance of this moment remains somewhat beyond verbal description, but the desirability and comfort drawn on the picture I recalled and the Japan I know definitely played an important part here. I decided to look for Laforet and my memories were correct. Can I really experience Laforet this time? From a commuting perspective, it is not truly a desirable place. Laforet is located in Shinagawa, a short distance from the JR station. Although Shinagawa is not comparable with Shinjuku, Shibuya or Ikebukuro, if trendy nightlife is your goal, it has certain attractiveness to me, so to speak, for it is still on the Yamanote Line and Shinjuku and Shibuya are only a couple of stations away. But Shinagawa is far subtler in the sense that the chances of meeting those loud people from the city where I stay would be much lower, and it has also some historical significance not far from that which you would find in Shinjuku, Ginza or Tokyo Marunouchi.

I don't know what else to say...but I am certain that the reality created by, if you will, the Laforet experience, would be an enjoyable one - it is a pursuit of happiness, serious and far from frivolous, stretching the amplitude of life, in what I believe is the highest level of human living. That evening, alone and tranquil, was a moment and it was eternity.

Kamakura

I think it is great to read some history in a softer way. Formal, detailed hard history is good to read seriously. In a sense it is a necessary form of archiving incidents past. At times, we should enjoy some leisure moments, very much in an austere manner I suppose, and read history, including the livelihood of people in the past, without having to speculate how the train of events occurs and developments unfolded. All I need is some information on which I can think about how the world looked like at that time. Appended below is an article in Chinese, from the Hong Kong Economic Journal of 1st December 2009.

鐮倉大佛 抹茶冰淇淋
奧巴馬總統十一月訪問日本，在三得利音樂廳講演，開篇就談到，幼時母親曾帶他到鐮倉看過大佛，但他的興趣卻在「抹茶冰淇淋」上。鐮倉大佛為日本國寶。不但高大（高十三米多；重一百二十一噸），而且與日本其他地區的大佛不同，頷首低頭，視線向下，明顯有中國佛像風格。
雖說日本的佛教是經由中國、朝鮮半島傳來，但佛像多具日本特色，而鐮倉一帶的佛像很多帶有中國傳統。十二世紀末，與京都天皇「公家」對立的源賴朝，被任命為征夷大將軍，建館鐮倉，一般被認為是 「鐮倉幕府」時代的開始。這時正值中國北南宋、遼金交替時代，鐮倉幕府從中國引進了「禪宗」思想，作為武士的精神支柱。由實權人物北條時賴（源賴朝之丈）在鐮倉建立了日本第一個「禪寺」—建長寺。而鐮倉左近寺院的佛像，也就多如中國佛像體態舒展、表情豐富，衣紋也多模仿中國的雕刻樣式。鐮倉附近青雲寺的「觀音菩薩遊戲坐像」，甚至就是在中國造好再運來的。為了方便與中國的船隻往來，還在鐮倉海邊人工建島（和賀江島）。這裏出土了很多中國的陶瓷器皿和錢幣。甚至有人認為，當時的鐮倉市面都是一色中國風格。
但這些都是作為武家政權的鐮倉幕府，要與京都的貴族文化「劃清界限」，建立獨自文化而為。鐮倉三面環山，一面臨海。把守從關西京都到關東江戶的要衝。古時不但外圍有「鐮倉七口」要隘，防止入侵，市內小路也故意造得盤根錯節，而且不畫在地圖上，敵軍即使侵入也會暈頭轉向。大佛位於鐮倉西口，據說也是表明與西邊京都勢力的對抗。
大佛是高德院的本尊如來坐像，建於十三世紀中葉。原計劃是木雕，不知怎麼就變成銅像了。大殿毀於十五世紀末的大海嘯，大佛就成了露天的了。現在花二十日圓就可以進入大佛底座觀看。
奧巴馬說他從大佛看到了和平和寧靜，但其實背後卻隱藏着戰爭的血腥。鐮倉幕府因抵禦元朝從海上來犯，財政吃緊，被當時的後醍醐天皇派兵攻陷。執掌幕府的北條一族兵敗自盡，鐮倉幕府落下帷幕。
其實，鐮倉的一些「洋館（洋式建築）」也是很有味道的。往往地處半山，高窗明室，建築奇巧。明治後，當時西洋的「休閒觀」傳入日本，鐮倉附近的湘南海岸成為日本第一個海水浴場，很多文人、豪族、實業家被吸引到鐮倉建宅邸，被稱為「鐮倉文士」。小說家里見惇在關東大地震後，於鐮倉建洋館，據說防震是沿用了當時帝國飯店的標準。但又在旁邊為自己建了一棟和式的寫作間。
我遊鐮倉，不看大佛，不走大路，喜歡躲開眾多遊客穿小道，可以看到一般市民的生活。還可以在新建的洋式建築間徘徊，出入小規模的美術展覽，間或靜靜地喝一杯咖啡。當然，也一定會有冰淇淋，而且是「抹茶」的。

Cigar Appreciation

The bland people of the world, the health crooks, use as much pseudoscience and fake evidence and stupidly wrong induction to convince the world that smoking should be eradicated as the Oriental communist rulers used moronic propaganda to fool their foolish subjects. Needless to say, the world full of morons buys into this lie. Of course the cigarette industry consists of the equally nasty crooks who should be controlled to an extent much stricter than the bland people health crooks. But this affects the secret art of cigar smoking, which, in any case, belongs to the privileged few. And it should always belong to these few and be kept out of contact by any other underprivileged, disprivileged and cheaper specimens in the human race. Perhaps, one should say when people lack the sense and decorum to enjoy a good smoke. He should not be permitted to touch a good stick of Havana again, until, if it happens, he is penitent to the fact that a good smoke is holy.

http://www.leon.jp/category/cigar

Keizoku (On-going Investigations)

ケイゾク(繼續［調查］) is Japan's answer to Cold Cases. This was my favourite series in 2006, starring Nakatani Miki. The theme song, Chronic Love, is composed by Sakamoto Ryuichi and performed by Miss Nakatani herself. Even you don't fully understand the lyrics, you will feel its melody partake of a sense of mystery in the episodes of these 'on-going investigations', a euphemism of 'cold cases' that occurred years ago and are now just dusty files. Enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZXdRjIIs-0&feature=related

Red Ear Slider

I have a lovely slider hatchling, Fat Fat. A month ago, Fat Fat became inactive and he could not swallow. He just spit out whatever in his month, and he was increasingly inactive. So I brought him to the vet who suspected pneumonia as she found him lopsided afloat. Fat Fat went through the treatment which included 2 rounds of antibiotics (5 injections each) (Fortum Ceftazidime), 2 shots of vitamin A (0.01 ml each) and 1 injection of fluid (1 ml). The vet also prescribed Reptoboost from Vetark, a UK brand, that is a powder mixture of glucose and maltodextrins as a 'pick-me-up'. I quarantined him as well. Fat Fat got better and was gaining weight (I could feel him heavier every day when I picked him up). He was still a bit 'dull' but had good appetite which made me relieved. However, he appears to be stressed out and tends to hide away whenever I come to see him (except when he's hungry).

Today, suddenly it seems he is losing appetite again as he spit the food I gave him (he ate some shrimps but not as many as a few days ago). I found him lopsided more seriously and gasping quite a lot. Currently I put him in a small vivarium and give him frozen brine shrimp, frozen vitamin-fortified bloodworm (both Japanese products) or dried shrimps and pellets (a Polish product, Aqua Szut) on a rotation basis (I don't see many US brands here in Hong Kong). I tried to entice him to have some greens but he is just too carnivorous. I am now giving him Reptoboost, lest he is weakening.

At the moment, he appears ok. Whether he has got pneumonia or gut problem and whether I am doing the right thing for me is being reviewed. Is there a possibility that he is born with defects that make him weak? I do not know. If the situation worsens, I probably need to bring him to the vet again.

His environment: temperature (water) about 80; room temp (daytime reaching 90 and at night 82-84). The vivarium is put beside the window with fair amount of sunshine. UVB light is installed as well. I have a heating tube but guess don't need it in summer time. The vivarium is a small one (7.5 inches (W) x 5 inches (D) and 5 inches (H)) as I separated him from his peers.

Comme Au Premier Jour by Andre Gagnon

Listened to some pieces of Andre Gagnon. I don't know what to say except feeling blessed. Sometimes the ungratefulness of human beings worsens life more than the misfortune we experience. On some occasions where the seeming misfortune is in fact a blessing we lack the capability to perceive it as so and to acknowledge that we are blessed and strengthened by the sufferings that are sweet in their core. The musical pieces of Andre Gagnon's I just listened to are familiar but somehow strange to me, although I have listened to this Canadian composer-cum-pianist since my early ages. The solo of M. Gagnon might not be of the taste to a young man with an explosive mind who were surrounded by more bountiful Modern Romantic music in the 1980's. But now more than 2 decades have passed, when I listened to the piano that singularly produces the music, I feel something I have never felt before, that heavenly otherworldly melody that makes me immerse in somewhere not belonging here. It would be hard to believe that the world would come to perfect harmony in which every human is satisfied and perfected, no matter how much he has suffered in this corporeal life; but it would not be difficult to expect that happens if music of this great influencing power can be composed and rendered.

Kabei - Our Mother

Sayuri Yoshinaga, Rei Dan, Tsurube Shofukutei, Keiko Toda, Mirai Shida, Miku Sato, Tadanobu Asano, et al. Directed by Yoji Yamada.

What else can I write?

Nissan Teana (2)

Teana is very impressive, but I have been deeply ingrained with the idea that Europe is privileged when coming to automobile manufacture, and that Japanese automobiles may be reliable and come equally as far as technology and performance are concerned yet European cars are a combination of luxury, prestige and technology - especially German cars. I was struggling at the time as my target is locked, an Audi A4 1.8T. From the standpoint of luxury and comfort, it may not be comparable to a 2.5 Teana. But A4 is turbo-charged with tiptronics, whereas Teana is fully a sedan for driving not performance. A4 could win the performance test. It seems some details are available with the A4, electronics and B&O audio. Teana is, in a way, comfortable, luxurious (in the sense that it bears substance not appearance) and beautiful. It might come from Cefiro but the silhouette is more elegant and aesthetically superior. A4 is labelled to be a middle class's car (probably a worst breed I detest) - professional, young and somewhat energetic but family-orientated, with the implication that the family is better off. I do not know where Teana is positioned. Though elegant and beautiful, it looks massive and less trendy and energetic as the mean-looking A4 demonstrates. However, after a few nights of thinking, I began to realised that the subtle aesthetics that Teana quietly presented gradually occupied my thought. I recalled that I was a modest person and pursued long-lasting enjoyment, appropriate comfort (and in times sufferings that strengthened my will) and substantial and essential quality within. A Teana seemed to fit all these parameters. I do not believe the outer shell of the middle class. The professional, young and energetic look can be misleading. I am more concerned with the introspective capability that these young people lack. In Teana, I knew I had found something I longed for and something that I wished to demonstrate my very self in a manner that was not too noisy.

I believed no-one would be concerned with the details of Teana, but I did (and I do). At that point in time, I was given some thought but my mind was in the middle of the spring board and did not know which side to slide to. Story to be continued.

Nissan Teana

This is not an automobile review. I am no expert on cars and am not an experienced driver. I should only like to say how Nissan Teana came to my attention from the outset and how this car's image had developed within me and how it eventually took me over from my original favourite Audi A4 and completely reversed my supposedly sturdy view that I must own a European but not Japanese car.

The passage of development and change within me was subtle and while not quite lengthy in terms of time past, was rather slow and in a sense below your consciousness that allowed you to be highly cognizant of the development. I must say, from the appearance of it, Teana is a beautiful car, rightly curved and squared, impeccably constructed on a right size of an Accord or Mercedes E-Class. More than that, Teana partakes of a subtlety and, so to speak, a hint of modesty, in the face of a Mercedes or BMW (a Beemer, as it sometimes is called) such that the aesthetics of such an impeccable body defines itself as a different yet substantial and functional counterparty by no means inferior to any of its rivals of all classes.

I believe luxury itself is hallow without substance from a higher civilised cause, and luxury is an inanimate object if not pouring in it a soul from plausible human activities. In those days when luxuriousness, the nature behind luxury and luxurious items, was interpreted, rather correctly, to equal elegance, erudition and sophistication, it would be easier for me to be in love with luxury. But now times have changed, we have to face a deformed concept and a distorted mentality of human-like organisms. The elegance, erudition and sophistication which once define luxury have given way to much lesser attributes such as showiness, loudness and conspicuousness of those activities that are branded as luxurious. Still matured economies such as Japan and France, where the old school luxury is preserved, still provide us with such surprises from time to time. I need refreshment.

The silhouette of Cefiro, a former model similar in style - or the predecessor of Teana, gave me some impression that some Nissan model was meant for an upper market than the average Japanese car such as Civic and Jazz from Honda or Picnic or Corrolla of Toyota. Then I forgot it until one day I saw a black sedan in front of me going in such a smooth and gentlemanly manner that it attracted my attention. I noticed the engine size, a 3.5. I thought it was a Cefiro as far as I could remember its silhouette. I saw someone sitting on the back seat, comfortably, probably a client whom the car which was supposed to bring to his destination. After a while, I saw another one, which was a 2.5 model with a smaller engine, again black and moving gracefully. That black image and the comfort of the person who sat on the back seat lingered on my mind. For the next few days I put this image away. Then in a certain night I picked it up again and immediately went to Nissan's homepage. I found no Cefiro but Teana. All right, it was a Teana I saw the other day. Clearly, Teana is no direct successor of Cefiro, probably in a lot of places, improvements and changes are made including the engine and the chasis. The first part of the story ends here.

The Strings in Shinagawa

How do I treat a people or a population I supposedly belong to? Yes, a population. I should treat it nicely, for if I am one of them, and I do not treat it nicely, I probably do not treat myself nicely. The logic could be right. But in fact, I shall not bother. Perhaps, I should say, whenever I bump into any one of this clan, I shall slap him on the face. The logic is right, as I do not bother and slapping him on the face does not cause me anything that I should consider as treating myself nicely. Instead I treat myself really nicely, for I feel happy if not ecstatic by slapping this person on the face. What can I be made happier then? Slapping him a few more times. I am a Happy Slapper. This is the clan, a group of nonsensical compost-eating, urban-shitting cowards that I have to face everyday and tolerate and am forced to belong to. But the Happy Slapper could not be happier, if he goes to Japan. I am just fine without having to bring along with me the Happy Slapper. I shall be reluctant to become a villian in the highly pressurised nation, Japan, which is built by pressuring her subjects and by her subjects being subjected, rather willingly I guess, to such pressure. But pressure constructs beauty. I should say Inferno, not Purgatory, should consider bringing the reprobates to the city where I stay.

Shinagawa gives me another misty impression of Japan, which, despite such poetic obscurity necessary for aesthetics, is absolutely endearing, a feeling from within. I do not like commercial slogan but I cannot but admit that this makes feel home - Home Away from Home, a motto found on the brochure of The Strings in Shinagawa, an InterContinental Hotel. It would be unnecessarily profound to be ontological about Home Away from Home, as I did quite some time ago. Comparing Home Away from Home with Nirvana or plugging it into an ontological argument that 'Japan is home' per se is undeniable may still be logically and analytically understandable but will easily be rendered nonsensical. If you read existential writings of Continental Europe, you will oftentimes find something similar, well, by all means, as ontological as Home Away from Home, so gorgeously packaged in philosophical wrap, pretentiously posed for eternal discussion aimed not at finding an answer but meant to continue the game. However, from deep within myself is there a sense of aesthetics that guides my feeling, temperament and disposition; and this sense of aesthetics produces such power on me that I say, 'yes, I am home.' Such proclamation, so devoid of patriotism, is simply here, inside me. Some scenary such as Laforet or Gingakuji provokes the aesethetical sense to lead me to say 'yes, I am home'. The Strings is again another provocation - or put it more mildly - stimulus. With it I have the confidence to say, 'go back where you belong, patriotism.' At least, patriotism or chauvanistic nonsense attaced to my population in this case becomes obsolete and highly obscene, not to mention blasphemous against humanity.